Over the past few years, online dating has lost much of it’s bad stigma. In the past, many people believed that those who used online dating were desperate. These individuals were seen as pathetic and who might have had something wrong with them if they couldn’t’ find someone without the aid of a computer.
Now, however, it’s a different case. According to Pew Research Center, that stigma is pretty much gone. Fifty-nine percent of U.S. Americans now consider online dating as a good way to meet people. If you imagine the amount of people in the U.S., then you can assume that this is quite a lot.
Also, dating apps are no different. In 2014, the Huffington Post wrote an article on the amount of time a Tinder user spends. A Tinder spokesperson told them that a typical Tinder user spends an average of 77 minutes per day. That is 1 hour and 17 minutes each day. If you’ve ever used Tinder then you know that many people don’t spend an hour all at once. It’s spread across the day and nights. Basically, a typical Tinder user spends ALL day swiping left or right on certain profiles.
I know I can attest to this. Ever since I broke up with my ex, I have been a little weary to get back to the dating scene. While finding someone isn’t the problem, it’s finding the right person that makes me hesitant. It’s a lot of work. I have used Bumble and OKCupid and they haven’t been that bad. It’s when I get onto Tinder that makes me anxious.
Here’s my perspective on Tinder.
Tinder is a widely known app and used across the country. There is always someone you’ll find interested to know more about. Yet, Tinder is also where the crazies can come out and where guys tend to do weird things that really turn me off. I have noticed that there’s a wide selection of guys who harbor the same particular habits.
At first, I thought I was being too critical, but when I brought it up with a few of my female friends, they brought up the same issue.
Tinder’s business model is revolved around a user’s photos. You swipe left or right depending if you like their face or not. It’s that simple. However, there are a lot of men who seem to have forgotten that photos are important for both genders not just one.
There’s been a lot of similarities among different profiles and after swiping left for so long, I couldn’t help but to say something. Of course everyone deserves love, but it’s going to be hard getting it if these things keep being allowed:
Posing with other girls
Listen, as a single woman, I am looking for someone who I can spend intimate time with. I don’t want to see you with other girls. I know for a fact that I’m a bit possessive. The fact this girl you’re posing with could be anyone makes me not want to swipe right. After going on a date and having the guy tell me in the end that he’s engaged, I’m a lot more careful now. Now, I automatically label men who do this as a player and swipe left. For all I know the girl they’re posing with could be a crazy baby mama and I have enough problems in my life without adding any of theirs.
Posing with kids
Speaking of baby mamas, I, personally, don’t want to date anyone with kids. I come from a divorced family and I remember how it was when my parents were dating new people. It was awkward and difficult seeing my parents fight all the time. I don’t really want to go through that again. Some might say that I have experience and can sympathize with the child, if that were the case, but I’m not really fond of that. I know myself and I have a hard time handling a relationship with one person. I’m not too confident if I can handle two.
So guys, if they are not your child, do not put these photos on your profile. It’s really not helping you in the long run. Of course, if it is your child then do it. It’s better for you to tell your future partner that you have a child than to lie about and then spring it on them later on.
Posing in a group
This is my most despised one. How the hell am I supposed to know who you are? What irritates me even more is how ALL of their profile pics are with them in groups and with the same people! The last thing I need is to be attracted to the wrong guy and then finding out that they’re the one I wasn’t really into.
Posing with no shirt on
This goes back to me automatically labeling guys as a player. I’m not looking to smash (okay kind of), but I want to see your face. Also, if they’re so unwilling to show a picture of their faces, it makes me wonder if they’re trying to hide something. It just makes me nervous because I can’t agree to go with someone on a date if I’ve never seen their face. The only time it’s okay for you to post a picture like that is if you’re at the beach and not in your bathroom.
Posing in front of a car
I get it. You’re a man and you like cars because it’s a man thing. It’s just, to me, doing that makes feel so cliche. Also, posing in front of an expensive car is going to match you with a lot of girls who care mostly about money. If that’s what you want, then keep at it. Just don’t start complaining that you can’t find any quality girls. It also makes me think that you’re trying to overcompensate for something. I’m looking for someone to build a connection with. If I want to do that with a car then why I wouldn’t be on Tinder.
Am I wrong?
Maybe I’m just being too judgmental and these problems are only mine. Yet, when I ask around I get a lot of women who agree with me. For example, Men’s Fitness asked 15 girls what turns them off on Tinder and there’s a lot of similarities. That makes me even more confident to say these things to you guys. Stop doing this. Post some good, quality pictures on your profile. Think of it as a job interview. Put your best foot forward and present yourself in a positive light. Trust me, you’re going to see a difference.
Also, what about men? Are these the same issues you face when looking at female profiles? How about those who identify themselves as LGBTQ? Is it different or are there similarities? I seriously would love to hear your thoughts below.